I’m almost afraid to write what I’m about to write, because it’s likely to come back and bite me where it hurts.
This twin thing isn’t so bad.
During the two years between graduation/marriage and twin babies, I didn’t do much. I mean, I picked up writing work here and there, I worked a stint at a scuba dive shop, I hung out at the beach. But during all that, I felt like I should have been doing something more.
I found out that, like most of society, if I’m given unlimited time to relax/read/study/explore/work out/whatever, chances are good I’m just going to sit on the sofa and do basically none of the above.
In college, life was best when it was busy, every hour of the day occupied with classes and activities I believed to be worthwhile. Just enough sleep to get by. During the semesters in which I took the heaviest course loads, I tended to be happier, to learn more, to get better grades, and to step outside my comfort zone.
It’s not good for Steffani to be unoccupied.
I recall sitting on the toilet–the only time I had to myself–about a month after the twins were born, when they were starting to really keep us up all night. While sitting there, I had two groggy thoughts.
The first: I miss heated Japanese toilet seats.
The second: Finally, something I can sink my teeth into.
So maybe I’m crazy, but having twins was exactly what I needed, and not just because I now have these beautiful little minions whose smiles can light up my entire day. It’s because I have something to do now.
It’s good to be back.