Dear Stephen Jones:

I’m writing to request that a treehouse be constructed in a centrally-located corner of the Bob Jones University campus. The payback period for such a structure is estimated at 2.5 weeks, though costs might be curtailed by the 2014 Bible Conference offering.

While I realize a 2.5 week payback period is a stretch for the university’s current economic policies, the increase in student morale would more than merit the investment of materials and staff work hours.

A survey of a diverse segment of the student population yielded suprising results. 26.4 out of 28 students agree: a treehouse on campus would make their stay at BJU a more optimistic experience.

One prospective student stated that such a feature “would make  all the difference in my decision to start my academic career at The Opportunity Place.”

A treehouse would contribute to the university’s mission by encouraging student fellowship in an ideal atmosphere for relaxation and enjoyment.

Because well-established, thriving trees consistently symbolize the healthy, deeply-rooted Christian life, the Bob Jones University Tree of Growth (appropriately decorated with aphorisms by Dr. Bob Jones II) would remind all its visitors of the importance of strong, stable roots.

Transporting a tree from back campus to the Glory Garden, near the “rivers of water,” would incur additional costs but has the added benefit of contributing to the atmosphere and symbolism of the Tree of Growth, carrying the Psalm 1 symbolism to its fruition.

Because God’s creation is meant to be appreciated even more than fine arts and drama, an unnamed faculty member has suggested that every student complete a mandatory 2 hours per semester enjoying the leafy recesses of the Tree of Growth.

Demerits issued for non-compliance would encourage students to fully appreciate the beauty of the university campus–a campus they are working assiduously to be able to afford to attend.

Classic, conservative treehouse designs feature split-level accommodations, boards nailed up the tree’s trunk, and a rope swing for quick descent. Because this would be impractical in a skirt, I recommend allowing female students to wear appropriately loose-fitting pants or jeans for their Tree of Growth time.

An accompanying lemonade stand with both traditional and raspberry options would be a welcome addition. Income would defray the costs of the treehouse’s construction.

I will contact you again, pending potential designs and detailed estimates on the costs of this project, and I look forward hearing your thoughts on this proposal.

Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,

Steffani Russell

Senior University Student

2 comments

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s